Are you happy now?
by secretsandspies
Summary: Post The Telling-angsty SV


Are you happy now?  
  
Author: Tech_Girl (Lise) Email: yoyos_sleeping@hotmail.com Post Telling (well duh!) Spoilers: None (I don't think) Rating: PG Ship: V/S Disclaimer: I own nothing, well nothing of any worth or to do with the rights to Alias. Anyway if I did own Alias, lets just say the season would have ended rather differently. Note: This is my first fic, so please be kind in any feedback and HUGE HUGS to "B", without you there would be no title and to you Kat, without you there would be no story. Song is "are you happy now?" by Michelle Branch  
  
So enjoy!  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
Syd POV  
  
Just one look from him and I knew he still had me sussed. Whether it had been two months or two years. I still couldn't hide the truth from him as I'd been trained to hide it from everyone else.  
  
Thinking back to that awkward first conversation after I got back. The jumble of thoughts in my head. Then seeing him and just wanting curl up in his arms, the only place where I had ever felt safe. But one look into those eyes and to that ring on his finger and I knew that something was wrong, something had changed between us and I had no knowledge of it.  
  
Now, don't just walk away  
  
Pretending everything's ok  
  
And you don't care about me  
  
And I know there's just no use  
  
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care.  
  
It felt like one of those stupid daytime soap operas. The star-crossed lovers finally get together only to be ripped apart by a marriage and amnesia. Only this wasn't a soap opera. It was my life. And you had to factor in a few more loonies, bent on world domination and an argument that neither of us was fit for, but would no doubt follow; before it even came close to the ridiculousness I was faced with.  
  
Vaughn knew I was lying when I told him that I was fine; when I said that I agreed with him, that yes, two years was enough time and he should have moved on. And that yes, if I had really been dead, (that if I really loved him) that's what I would've wanted. I was the ever-professional Sydney Bristow. He knew I was lying, but I suppose he pretended to believe me because the truth would have been harder to take.  
  
When really the truth was I wasn't fine. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs, not agreeing that he should have moved on, that two years was enough time to forget about me! God, we waited two years before we got together, and even then, Danny's memory still plagued me at night! I wanted to shout and yell till my voice was hoarse. Scream that he should've waited for me, or become celibate, or something.  
  
Could you look me in the eye  
  
And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh  
  
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
I would have waited  
  
The selfish part of me though, thought that if I wasn't allowed to have him then no one else could. Did he even observe a mourning period?!  
  
We didn't talk much at the office, only saying the bare minimum required in order to get our jobs done. Though Vaughn had tried to get me to say more. He tried to instigate conversations. To get me to talk to him the way I used to. But things weren't the way they used to be. I became the queen of monosyllabic answers. Vaughn stopped trying after a short word with my Dad. I saw them in his office. Whatever Dad said, it was short and sharp and did the trick. It was one of the rare times I have been grateful to my Father. I couldn't talk to Vaughn without lies being the only things I said. I was tired of lying. I had spent half my life lying, to everyone and everything. I didn't want to lie anymore. Especially to the one man who I shouldn't have had to lie to. The one person I had been able to trust.  
  
You took all there was to take,  
  
And left me with an empty plate  
  
And you don't care about it, yeah.  
  
And I am givin' up this game  
  
I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care,  
  
But my trust for him was gone or at least deeply buried somewhere.  
  
I kept my mind on work, not letting it slip to thoughts of how Vaughn would be taking another woman to the hockey, and then how he would be taking that other woman home after the hockey. And how that other woman would wake up next to him and look into those eyes and smile. She would know that, that man loved her very much and that she could do this every morning for the rest of her life.  
  
Do you really have everything you want?  
  
You could never give somethin' you ain't got  
  
You can't run away from yourself  
  
I hadn't even bothered to find out she was. Not that I cared. Really. Vaughn was just a co-worker who'd gone and got himself married in my absence. Once again I was lying to myself. I was a pro at it by now, after all the things I had been through. How could I not be?  
  
Would you look me in the eye?  
  
Could you look me in the eye?  
  
I've had that all I can take  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
Well good for him, I lied. I really hope he's happy. At least someone was, cause God knows I sure wasn't 


End file.
